Sheila C. Bair, Zombie hunter and head of the FDIC.
(photo Andrew Harrer/Bloomberg News)
I came across this curious little article in the New York Times today.
The Headline Reads "F.D.I.C. Needs to Do Some Zombie Hunting."
Ok, so that's kind of weird. Then we go to lede (first paragraph) which gives us this little gem:
"Killing zombies isn’t just a job for horror movie heroines. It’s also the primary task of Sheila C. Bair, the head of the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation, Breakingviews says."
I'm not sure if this is really engaging writing- I mean, obviously at this point, I wanted to know what the hell this article was about- or just a really shoddy metaphor.
It takes several paragraphs to explain what, exactly, 'zombies' have to do with the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation- apparently, in this context, they're labeling banks that are siphoning bail-out money but won't be able to repay, or are taking interest, help, and cash from healthy institutions, zombies.
First off...that sounds more like a vampire thing to me. I even think that might make a better metaphor. You know, something like "FDIC TO STAKE VAMPIRE BANKS IN BLOODY DAYLIGHT COUP: SHADY BANKERS FEAR THE LIGHT OF DAY."
I mean, obviously not something that long and stupid, but you get the general idea.
Probably the best thing about this article, though, is how it ends:
"With spring around the corner, Ms. Bair needs to set her sights on a big zombie hunting trip, the publication suggests."
My hats off to you, NYT. That is the cheapest attempt at drumming up interest I have seen, outside of doing the weather report naked.