Zombi 2 - The Moby Dick of Zombie Movies.

This is one of those films that everyone loves- well, everyone that's so much more into horror movies then everyone else, anyway.

Truth is, this is a terrible movie. How exactly a film where a ZOMBIE FIGHTS A SHARK (!!!) can be boring, is beyond me, but somehow here it was achieved.

There are a few seconds of decent- brilliant, actually- gore, including an eye gouging scene that is probably the worst of its kind ever to grace the silver screen. Fulci was always good at that. He wasn't so good at anything else, though, like writing dialogue, or pacing a film, or doing any sort of decent dubbing, or compiling a soundtrack that doesn't make even Goblins worst work sound silly. At least, not at this point in his career.

Yep, the solid majority of the groans to be had in this movie are going to come from you. Did we really just watch like 30 minutes of the most totally unsympathetic and awkward characters in the history of low-budget Italian cinema talk aimlessly on a boat?  Was this movie really shot in English, dubbed in Italian, and then re-dubbed in English? Is the climax really going to be a bunch of people shuffling around in a barn that gets lit on fire? Is this really only called Zombi 2...because it is a unofficial sequel to Dawn of the Dead, hoping to ride the others coat-tails by deceiving a clueless public??

The answer to all those questions, is a thundering yes, rolling in like a storm on the Scottish Highlands. I've never actually seen a storm in Scotland- actually, I've never even been to Scotland. But the metaphor remains.

So why get this movie? If you want to impress the hell out of horror nerds, name dropping this film can go a long way. This is one of those films that separates the zombie fanboys from the zombie...fanMEN. 

It's like the Moby Dick of Zombie movies- really wearying to get through, much better summarized then in actuality, full of useless fluff and pointless information, ruining any sort of brief cool setups it has with poor execution- but somehow, it still gets massive credit.

Zombi I (Zombie 2)
Directed By Lucio Fulci
Written By Elisa Briganti
Starring Ugo Bologna, Al Cliver, Stefania D'Amerio